Commitment

Yesterday I made a public commitment on facebook to write a blog everyday for the next year. And then I forgot to write. So much for resolutions. But I am of the belief that if at first you don't succeed, try again, so here I am. Some days will be delayed as we are traveling to Guatemala for the next 3 months and nothing is certain there esp. internet connections, but I will write on paper and then later transcribe it to here. Also Sunday is my family blog day so will not write then.
Well how do I describe packing for 9 people, 7 of which are children, to go spend 3 months in Guate.? Frustrating as all get out. At first I tried to be perfect and make sure they have everything they need and all their little hearts will desire. Now I just am making sure they will not have to go naked. In guate where we are, you can not buy much esp. if you care about quality.
My biggest problem tho is leaving grandkids. Most of them have 2 great parents and I know their lives will run smoothly and easily until I return. But there are two precious boys ages 2 and 3 that I am finding it so hard to leave. I have taken care of them a lot since they were born. Their mother has had a prescription drug problem for years and at times could not care for them. So they lived with us. My son recently got full custody and now they live with him and with us. He is building a house for a man and has worked long hours so every other week they stay at my house and then the rest of the weeks at their house. They love my son and he loves them, but my son seems so young to have total care of a 2 and 3 year old. He is 26. I was 18 when my first was born and I was basically a single parent. My son has several sisters who will take them for a night or two to give him a break . But I know he is not a perfect parent and I am beginning to be a helicopter grandma. I was and am not a perfect parent so why is so hard to leave these tw for 3 months. Why do I go to bed crying about it and wake up crying about it.
Well there is my blog for today. if you have the answers, let me know.

Vicki
20.vicki@gmail.com